Changing Reflections
by MirrorImage27
Summary: Of all things, Merrill hadn't expected to fall in love with a human. A series of events detailing on how Hawke and Merrill met, got together, and their struggles. M! Mage Hawke
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**

**Hey Guys!**

**Welcome to my first Fan fic. Constructive criticism is welcome since I'm new here, and would be greatly appreciated. The PC will be M!Hawk and a mage, (it adds some interesting dialogue, for those of you who play DA2). Anyways I hope you enjoy it, and please R&R. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age II or any of its characters.**

**Ch. 1- First Encounters **

Merrill examined the shard of the Eluvian closely, as it cast a glowing light upon her features. It hummed a strange noise, as she examined her reflection. She paused for a moment, thinking about her decision to leave the clan. Marethari had expressed her disapproval clearly, giving Merrill pause as she crouched at the misty path that led to the foreboding summit of Sundermount. _'Was she doing the right thing?_' she wondered. She pushed these thoughts aside, asserting her own views_, "No, I must do this for the sake of our people, whether they approve or not.' _She quieted the conflicting thoughts in her head as she heard the sound of swishing robes, the clink of weapons and armor, and the plodding of combat boots.

As she turned around she was greeted by the sight of three men, two being human, the other a dwarf.

"Oh, hello" She began awkwardly, "Forgive me, I am not that familiar with the interactions of humans, a friend of mine was taken away by one once." Realizing that she hadn't introduced herself she blurted out, "I'm Merrill, but you probably already knew that," she said, rubbing her neck sheepishly. "What's your name? Or… Is it rude to ask a human's name" she inquired, seeing an opportunity to learn human interaction, as well as not make a fool of herself any further.

One of the human's stepped forward. He was tall, with bronzed skin, and dark hair, slicked back carelessly, with bright amber eyes. He carried himself in a confident manner, in a way eerily similar to her old clan mate, Mahariel. He smiled at her suddenly, saying, "Relax Merrill," he said in a cheerful disposition, "You can call me Hawke, nice to meet you. This is my brother, Carver, and a new friend of mine, Varric" both men responding with a short wave.

"Right… Are you from Ferelden, I lived there most of my life." Hawke nodded, so she continued, "Have you been in Kirkwall long? How do you like it?"

Hawke shrugged, "Could be better, could be worse," he said, his tone light. "Kirkwall isn't brown enough for me," He added jokingly.

"Ferelden wasn't all that brown. Besides it added character. I miss it sometimes… Err, I'm just babbling like a fool now" She said shyly. "We should probably complete the task, it's not wise to keep Asha' Bellanar waiting" she said, gesturing up the path. Hawke nodded and with that they begin their trek.

Suddenly, the restless spirits of the mountain possessed several corpses, and they begin to growl threateningly, as they shambled towards the group. Each person drew their respective weapon, and took combat stances. Hawke suddenly conjured a roaring fireball, and sent it hurtling towards the fiends. Most of them fell in the blaze, however, some continued advancing. Suddenly, Merrill sent out a spirit blast, eliminating the remaining foes.

"Well, It appears that there is another mage amongst us" Hawke said, his arms spread gleefully. "Thanks for chipping in back there," He said more seriously.

"You're welcome… I wasn't sure how I would do, I've done most of my fighting alone" Merrill replied. "I'll try not to hit anyone" and upon realizing what she had quickly added, "On our side I mean. All keepers know a bit of magic. All of Elvhenan used to have the ability, but like many things of our culture it was lost. It's our job as keeper to remember, to restore what we can. We should keep moving, the main path is blocked from a landslide that happened recently, their should be a passage farther up."

"I tend to have an aversion to creepy caves," Carver muttered.

"Don't soil yourself kid, Bianca and I have your back, and your brother will roast anything to ashes that we manage to miss," Varric said upon hearing him, to which Carver responded with a venomous look.

* * *

><p>"Let's not make a habit of that," Carver said, wiping off some webbing that had stuck to his clothes.<p>

"I think that the poison stains and spider innards add character," Hawke said, as the group advanced to what appeared to be a barrier.

"I'll handle this," Merrill said, and she approached the barrier. Suddenly she pulled a knife out and quickly sliced it upon her wrist splattering blood into the air. The barrier fell, and Merrill turned around to gauge the party's reaction.

"What was that? I felt a shift in the veil… Something was here" Hawke said, suddenly serious.

"It was a spirit, it helped us didn't it?" Merrill said, making sure to be as vague as possible.

With an eyebrow arched, Hawke replied, "The barrier is certainly gone, yes. Here let me take a look at that" He added gesturing her to come to him.

She approached hesitantly, holding out her wrist. Hawke ran his hands over the wound, and enveloped it in a blue aura. When he pulled away, the scar was gone. "Good as new," He said smiling, returning to his previous demeanor.

Merrill blushed, unable to respond for a moment before managing, "Thank you." Hawke smiled again and gestured to move into the mountain graveyard.

"The ancestors used to sleep up here. But now, they don't sleep peacefully anymore."

"The veil feels thin" Hawke observed, "Spirits probably pass through frequently."

Merrill nodded, and gestured toward the altar. " Place the amulet on the altar, and I will begin the rite."

Hawke complied moving forward and doing as instructed. Merrill then approached the alter and began to chant. When she finished, a bright light illuminated the area and a form began to shape. Suddenly the Witch of the Wilds appeared, in the flesh.

"Greetings, Asha' Bellanar," Merrill said, kneeling as she did so.

"One of the people I see. Stand, the people bend their knees two easily. How refreshing that someone keeps their end of the bargain. I half expected my amulet to end up in the hands of some witless merchant."

"The whole, comes with a witch that roasts darkspawn on a regular basis kind of scared off any potential buyers." Hawke replied.

The witch chuckled saying, "I can imagine so." She turned around gesturing dramatically, "The world is on the cusp of change. When you see an opportunity, do no hesitate to leap. Only then will you see if you can fly."

"Says the dragon lady with wings," Hawke quipped.

"You have my thanks, clever child. Before I go a word of advice," The Witch said gesturing toward Merrill, "Tread carefully child, no path is darker, than one in which one keeps their eyes shut." The Witch said, again addressing Hawke.

"Mas surannas, Asha' Bellanar," Merrill said, having the sinking feeling she knew exactly what the Witch was referring to.

* * *

><p>Merrill had said her goodbyes to the keeper and clan. Most were happy to see her go, and she couldn't help but feel slightly hurt at this. Hawke and the others seemed friendly enough however. They finally arrived into the city alienage, and Merrill took a moment to observe her surroundings.<p>

"Is this really were the elves live? I've never seen so many people all packed together at the same place before."

"It's unfortunate really the way that elves are forced to live," Hawke sighed. "I'm live not to far from here though, if you need anything," Hawke added, gesturing up the street.

"I…. thank you, that's kind of you to offer," Merrill replied, surprised that someone, a human no less, was being so kind, when they hardly met.

"Well, I'll let you settle in, me and the boys probably have some trouble to stir up," Hawke said.

"Will you visit me?" Merrill blurted out," Not today I mean but, sometime maybe?" She said, waving her hands frantically.

"Of course," Hawke said, smiling. "See you later Merrill."

Merrill watched him and the others go, perhaps she had made a new friend?

**A/N **

**Alright guys, so how was that? Bad, Okay, Good? I tried to make incorporate more party interaction, but it was more kind of difficult to weave in. That said, although this Fic will be Hawke/Merrill centric, it will also show their relationships, (particularly Merrill's) with the other companions. I would appreciate any constructive criticism that you have to offer. As for updates, I will update as soon as possible, but will most likely post new chapters on weekends. And for those of you that review, I would like to know what kind of relationship Hawke and Merrill should have (Friend/Rival). I am kind of debating on which one to choose so input from people who read this would be taken into consideration. Thanks!**

** -M/I **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N **

**Wow, this story caught in reviews much faster than I expected. I appreciate all the kind words, and appreciate the advice. Sorry about the jarring transitions, I had some, but apparently when I uploaded it they disappeared. As for the recycled in game lines, I kind of have a bit of a hybrid of some of it as well as my own. There is more action and Hawke/Merrill interaction in this chapter. Anyways, what you've all been waiting for! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age II or any of its characters **

**Chapter 2- A New Perspective**

Merrill looked around at her new home, dissatisfied. Getting this 'hovel' of hers clean was nearly impossible. Holes riddled the ceiling, and there were also quite a few mice holes. One of these days she was going to have to set apart some space to repair the Eluvian. Her train of thought was interrupted by a knock at her door. '_Of course a guest would come when my home is in a state like this,' _Merrill thought, frustrated. She quickly darted towards it to see who it was, and was greeted by the sight of Hawke.

"I didn't think you'd come! Come in, I'll find something relatively clean for you to sit on," Merrill said, beckoning him to come inside. "Do you want something to eat or drink? I have… water," Merrill said, realizing that she didn't have much else.

"Relax Merrill," Hawke chuckled," I came to see you; you don't have to fuss over me. I see you've settled in nicely, no rotting food like at Gamlen's place."

"I'm not a very good host, am I? I should probably be thanking you for bringing me here the other day."

"If you really wanted to thank me, I'm sure I could think of something else," Hawke said slyly.

Merrill didn't quite understand what he meant but the look on his face was enough to make her ears burn hotly. "I… would most likely make a fool of myself," she said nervously.

Hawke smiled, then changed the subject, "So, why exactly was the clan being so… unpleasant yesterday? You seem like a very nice person."

"Ignorance, mostly, and I think the blood magic as well. You… don't have a problem with it? Do you?" She asked earnestly.

"Blood magic is a tricky thing. Most people fear it because of the whole, 'the Maker hates bad magic' thing. However that doesn't make blood mages bad people, you for example. It's really how they choose to use it that defines the user, and I don't see you making human sacrifices to make yourself more powerful, or brainwashing other people and the like," Hawke explained.

"But you don't use it either," Merrill pointed out.

"Ah, that's for several reasons. It would strange for one thing. Have you ever heard about a spirit healer blood mage? Even if you have, I've never really needed that kind of power. Plus, my family spent most of their lives fleeing the templars. We didn't want attract any attention."

Suddenly realizing how much time has passed Hawke interjected, "But this is all boring stuff, I heard that there was trouble in the Bone Pit. Good coin for investigating too, we'll need that for a Deep Roads expedition that Bartrand it funding. Do you want to come?"

"Yes, I'd think I'd like that. It is a bit stuffy in here anyway," Merrill replied.

"Great, just come with me and we'll get the others," Hawke said enthusiastically.

* * *

><p>The bone pit had turned out to be more than a simple investigation. As it turned out, the whole place was filled with dragons. After slaying hoards of dragonlings inside the mine, the group had come across a frightened miner, warning of a large dragon further in.<p>

"Are we going to go that way?" Merrill asked curiously, "I've never seen a huge dragon before."

"Sounds like fun, and more exciting than these errands we've been doing." Hawke said, leading the group forward.

The party advanced forward, out into a small area that was outside of the cave. Suddenly a piercing cry rang through the mountains, and Merrill couldn't help but feel a little intimidated. An adult dragon soon descended upon the group, releasing a roaring column of fire. Everyone began to attack the beast, making little headway. Suddenly Hawke froze one of it feet, and then unleashed powerful force magic, shattering the limb and crippling the beast. The group soon managed to overpower the weakened monster, and slay it.

"I think next time, avoiding the huge dragon would be a better idea," Merrill thought out loud.

"We agree on that. Still, all in a days work," Hawke said, putting away his staff and then proceeding to dust of his tunic. "Well, Jevern claimed that he had some work worth doing, said that there will be a dwarf waiting for us at night, lets head back."

* * *

><p>The job turned out to be an elaborate setup, in which they met an escaped slave, Fenris. After clearing out a mansion full of demons the mysterious elf had left, and was waiting outside.<p>

Upon exiting, he immediately accosted Hawke, "All my life, I have run from magic, for it is a curse upon my body and soul. And yet now I find myself in the company of more mages," Fenris spat.

"I am no tevinter magister, and Merrill can handle herself," Hawke said pointedly.

"I can?" Merrill said, a bit surprised that Hawke had come to her defense. Upon realizing that her response did little to help Hawke's argument, she quickly blurted out, "I mean, of course I can!"

"A very reassuring response," Fenris said venomously. "It matters not, for all your tainted magic, I appreciate your help, and, should you have need of me, I am at your disposal."

"Are you sure? A moment ago you didn't seem so happy with me," Hawke replied.

"I am no fool; I know magic has its uses. And perhaps you are not some power hungry mage, but I have yet to decide that." Fenris responded evenly.

Hawke, Merrill, and Varric left the mansion on that note.

"Well, it's late and I think that's enough adventuring for today. You can both go home."

"I am not yet familiar with the city, I'm afraid I might get lost in all these streets," Merrill said.

"Well, we can all go to Lowtown and then drop Varric off at the Hanged Man. From there, I would be happy to walk you home."

"Before we go though Daisy, take this ball of twine. Tie it to something, and then follow it back when you head home. You'll be able to get around in no time," Varric added.

Merrill thanked both of them, and they began to make their way back to Lowtown.

* * *

><p>By the time they arrived to the alienage Merrill was exhausted.<p>

Stopping outside her door Hawke asked, "So, how was your first day of adventuring?" Hawke asked.

"It was all very exciting, though I admit I am extremely tired," Merrill replied.

"Trust me when I say you're not the only one," Hawke agreed, grinning.

"I shouldn't think so, slaying huge dragons and all," Merrill agreed.

Hawke laughed, and then said, "I do believe you've made a joke Merrill," He said, grinning.

Suddenly excited, Merrill asked, "Really?" Suddenly self conscious, she quickly asked, "Was it bad?"

"On the contrary no, it was not. Seems like Varric and I have begun to rub off on you," Hawke said proudly.

"Thank you, for standing up for me earlier," Merrill said suddenly.

"It was no problem, and besides, isn't that what friends are for?" Hawke said. "Well, its getting late, I better get back before mother worries to much, I'll see you tomorrow," Hawke said, waving goodbye before walking off.

Merrill smiled as she returned the wave, watching Hawke until he disappeared in the receding light..

**A/N Sorry it took so long to update, I had most of it done for a while, just needed to polish it up. Anyways, I tried to address any concerns that you guys had in reviews. I appreciate all feedback.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N **

**Got a bit carried away with the GOW3 Beta, and my Internet chose yesterday to randomly crap out, so sorry about that. This is my longest chapter so far. Anyways, I'm happy with how this one turned out. **

**Disclaimer: All DA characters are property of Bioware. **

Merrill soon learned that Hawke made many interesting friends, the latest being Isabela, a pirate and former ship captain. Merrill found her fascinating to say the least. The way she walked, full of confidence and grace, was one of the many things about her that Merrill envied. She seemed to be quite friendly, and had taken it upon herself to refer to Merrill as 'Kitten.' She lived for the moment, going on thrilling adventures, bedding many men, and from what she had heard, women as well. Her blades were sharp, her wit sharper, and she was seemingly unable to be flustered, a trait that Merrill envied quite a bit.

They had first encountered her in the Hanged Man, where they witnessed Isabela single- handedly incapacitate several men, and sent them all away, losing what little dignity they might have possessed in the process. She introduced herself and asked Hawke for aid. With their help Isabela had been able to avoid getting ambush while getting rid of someone who was after her. She joined their group of misfits, and quickly befriended Merrill.

Seeing that Hawke and Varric were deep in conversation about the upcoming expedition, Merrill walked to the area of the bar that Isabella often frequented. Sure enough Isabela was there, gesturing for the bartender to serve another round.

Hearing Merrill's footsteps Isabela turned around to face Merrill and upon seeing her said, "Why, hello there Kitten! Been prowling around lately?" She added playfully.

"Oh no, not really," Merrill replied, slightly unsure how to respond. "I did manage to get here without ending up in some Darktown alley though!" Merrill said proudly.

"That's good, Kitten. We wouldn't want some dirty thug trying to get some 'alone time' in some dark alley with you," Isabela said jokingly. Merrill responded with an inquisitive glance. Isabela sighed, "Still don't get it, do you? My, my, what ever am I going to do with you Kitten?" Isabela said, chuckling. "Let's have some fun while you're here. Tell me, what do you think of Hawke, mmm," Isabela questioned, sounding as if she was asking someone what they might have thought of her favorite dish.

Merrill flushed, and then said, "He… seems very nice," Merrill said hastily.

"That we can agree on Kitten," Isabela said suggestively. "Imagine Kitten, Hawke, relieved of his shirt, sending roaring fire from his fingertips. Sweat dripping down his perfectly toned chest, breath labored from exertion. Then he turns toward you, giving you a smile that could make a whore blush, advancing on you, and then slowly, begins to take off-"

"Well hello there ladies!" Hawke suddenly interjected. Noticing Merrill was redder than he had ever seen her, he added, "Scarring Merrill for life I assume?"

"Of course not!" Isabela said, pretending to be insulted. "On the contrary, we were discussing some… local wildlife. Isn't that right Kitten?" Isabela said, winking at Merrill.

"Err… Yes! It was… very fascinating, I was just surprised is all, there were some… startling things that I didn't know," Merrill said awkwardly, and despite her best efforts, she failed to rid herself of a blush that had made itself permanent ever since Isabela had made her… _descriptive_ depiction of Hawke.

Hawke eyed Isabela suspiciously, but did not inquire any further. "Sure… Anyways, would you two fancy joining Varric and I to hunt down a Warden that supposedly has maps into the Deep Roads?"

"So, let me get this straight," Isabela began, " We're going to track down one of the most dangerous people in Thedas, who 'supposedly' has maps that lead to a place _full_ of blood- thirsty Darkspawn, for an expedition that might not even succeed?" She paused dramatically. "I'm game."

Merrill looked at her, surprised. It seemed to her that Isabela had stated every reason a person would _not_ want to go, and yet, she accepted all the same.

"I met a couple of Grey Wardens once. I offered to bed the leader, a Dalish elf I believe, but apparently he was taken by this beautiful raven – haired woman traveling with them. Pity really, I would have done her too." Isabela said, remembering the incident in The Pearl back in Ferelden.

"Umm… Anyway, would you like to come as well Merrill?"

"Yes of course," Merrill answered quickly, remembering to ask Isabela about the Warden later.

"Well then I suggest you grab your last shot of whiskey," Hawke said, looking at Isabela, "I'll go get Varric, and then we'll be on our merry way," Hawke said, heading toward Varric's suite.

* * *

><p>After doing some investigating in Lowtown, the search had led the group to Darktown. They had gathered that the Warden was actually an ex- Warden, and was a mage healer caring for Ferelden refugees. They entered a small sanctioned off area to witness the mage healing a small child. He finished then stumbled off, physically exhausted from the feeling. However, one could not tell this when he suddenly lunged for his staff and turned to face them.<p>

"I have made this a place a sanctum of healing, why are you here, threatening it?" He said fiercely, taking a fighting stance. Noticing that they were obviously not templars, he relaxed slightly; however, he remained wary of the intruders.

"Whoa, no need to shoot lighting or anything, were not here to hurt anyone," Hawke said, waving his hands.

"Then why, may I ask, are you here," Anders said, narrowing his eyes.

"We heard that you might have some maps of the Deep Roads, we're planning an expedition down there and anything you might have could save lives," Hawke said.

Anders swore under his breath. "I'd do anything not to here of the blighted Deep Roads again. My time in the Wardens was enough. Bastards made me get rid of my cat," Anders muttered. "Although…" Anders began, appearing to reconsider. "A favor for a favor," Anders decided, "Does that sound fair?"

"Lets draw some boundaries here; I don't do anything with animals or children, I do have some sense of morals," Hawke said jokingly.

"Nothing of that nature fortunately," Anders chuckled. "I have a friend in the Circle that I was going to sneak out. Apparently the Templars caught wind of it. I need to get him from the Chantry tonight before something happens," Anders said, his tone urgent.

"The Chantry?" Isabela said disapprovingly, "Sounds boring."

Hawke ignored Isabela's comment, "I will help you, my sister was a mage," Hawke said, all traces of humor gone. Merrill became slightly concerned; she had rarely seen him like this, nearly all the time Hawke was cheerful joker, and levity came easily.

"Templars?" Anders asked his voice full of resentment as he said it.

"Darkspawn," Hawke said levelly, keeping the statement brief. It was clear he did not want to elaborate on the subject. The pieces suddenly came together in Merrill's mind; Hawke's sister had been slain.

Anders nodded, not prodding any further. "I appreciate this," Anders said, getting back to the task at hand. "Meet me at the Chantry at night."

* * *

><p>Merrill looked at the Chantry, observing its nighttime appearance. Stars dotted the skies, a pillar of smoke rising from a fire burning behind the Chantry's symbol. The towering stairs leading to the building seemed more ominous, foreboding than usual. Suddenly noticing she was falling behind Hawke and the others, she rushed forward. Anders was waiting outside, being vigilant for any suspicious activity that could indicate the Templars were present.<p>

Finding none, he said, "Haven't seen anything so far." Gesturing toward the door he added, "Just let me do the talking, watch for an ambush just in case."

Hawke nodded, and Anders led them inside. They advanced through the corridor into the main chamber, taking the stairs on the left. Reaching the top, they spotted their man, facing away from them.

'_Something… seems off'_ Merrill thought, tightening her grip on her staff.

The man suddenly turned around, his eyes blank, emotionless. Merrill noticed something peculiar on his forehead; the mark of the Chantry.

"I knew you would come for me Anders. You were always the outspoken apostate," Karl said flatly.

"Why are you talking like that? No! You can't be!" Anders said, obviously distressed.

"You were too rebellious Anders, the Templars will show you how to get a hold on yourself," Karl said blankly. "This is the apostate!" He pointed at Anders, and several templars began to close in on the group.

"No!" Anders shouted, as a blue aura began to surround him. Suddenly an explosion of blue energy surrounded him, and his eyes opened, brilliantly glowing. Sending a huge ball of energy at the templars, Anders screamed, "You shall never take another mage as you took him!" his voice inhuman.

Most of the templars were instantly killed, and Merrill stood shocked at the terrible display of power, as Anders quickly slaughtered the rest. The energy suddenly faded from Anders, and he turned to face Karl.

Karl's face suddenly regained emotion and he blurted out, "Anders!" Looking at Anders, Karl desperately said, "Anders I don't know what you did to bring me back, but its fading! Please kill me!" The poor man was begging at this point.

"Anders, this won't make it easier but, I would rather die than become Tranquil, give him peace," Hawke said.

Anders nodded sadly and he turned to face Karl whose face had returned to it previous emotionless state. Karl look confused when faced at Anders's somber expression, when suddenly Anders removed a knife from his robes. He looked at it regretfully for a moment, then knowing what he needed to do, quickly stabbed his old friend.

"I'm sorry Karl…" Anders said sadly. "Let's just get out of here," he sighed.

Merrill felt sorry for Anders; she knew what it was like to lose a good friend. '_Just like I lost Mahariel' _Merrill thought sadly. _'But now I have Hawke, and the others too'_ Merrill thought, dismissing the unhappy memory of Mahariel being taken to join the Wardens, joining Hawke and the others as they made their way out of the Chantry.

* * *

><p>As promised, Anders gave Hawke the maps after that night, and now Varric and Hawke were further discussing the expedition back at the Hanged Man. Finally having the maps and necessary funds, it seemed everything was in order. Merrill now watched as they discussed how they were going to convince Bartrand with these two items.<p>

Seeming satisfied Hawke came over to the bar area, where Isabela had spent the better part of several hours trying to explain to Merrill that the Brothel was not a soup kitchen. To say the least, Merrill now understood why there were several scantily clad women traipsing about giving sultry glances to all who entered. Hawke arrived greeting both the women.

"At it again I see," Hawke said, noticing Merrill's expression. Isabela shrugged looking at Hawke innocently, and Hawke shook his head in response. "Well, Varric and I have agreed on the people coming with us," He looked at Merrill, "You and Carver will be coming with us." Excitement began to fill Merrill; she had expected Hawke might take someone else. Despite the dangers that no doubt were present, Merrill couldn't help but be curious about the Deep Roads. '_Who knows? Maybe I'll find something for the Eluvian'_ She thought excitedly. "I'd love to go Hawke," Merrill said smiling, not caring if she sounder overeager.

"Don't worry about me being heartbroken or anything, I'm not a fan of enclosed spaces unless someone else is in it with me, _close,_" Isabela said, her eyebrows raised.

Hawke shook his head once more although a smile graced his face, before continuing, "Anyway, we'll be leaving tomorrow from Hightown. The others and I will get you from the Alienage beforehand," Hawke said.

Merrill watched as Hawke went to Varric to relay the news, curiosity filling her as she wondered about the impending expedition.

**A/N **

**Please R&R! Next time, the Deep Roads!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N I apologize profusely on the late update. I have been extremely busy, and my weekends have been away from my laptop. Unfortunately I will soon be going on a week long camping trip, but I'll see if I can update for you guys tomorrow. Anyway, I would like tips on how to make combat flow more smoothly if you think improvements could be made.**

Merrill stood gathered with Hawke and the others in the center of the trade district, absentmindedly examining her feet while Bartrand went on about taking the Deep Roads virginity or something of the like. Bartrand continued droning on and on, when suddenly a shrill voice was heard. Merrill turned to see a woman she had learned was Hawke's mother, rushing toward them. Bartrand brought his palm to his face and cursed under his breath as she led her two sons away from the scene.

Merrill watched them argue, with Hawke's mother obviously very concerned about something. Hawke and Carver managed to convince her; however, even to Merrill it was obvious that the agreement was made grudgingly. Hawke and Carver reentered the group, Bartrand walked over to them saying, "Family drama over? Good, lets get on with this," Bartrand said impatiently. Hawke motioned for Merrill to join them, as they prepared to make their way out of the city.

* * *

><p>Merrill examined the large expanse of tunnel around them. When they had first walked in several days ago, the entrance possessed an ominous atmosphere threatening to swallow them. Now it seemed as if they were in the belly of the beast, at any moment they could be attacked by a stray group of Darkspawn. They had been traveling for several days; progress seemed to be going well. However they had just been stopped by one of the expedition's scouts, and Bartrand was talking to him trying to sort out what was going on. Merrill winced as Bartrand slammed his fist into the scouts face, '<em>Not good news obviously.' <em>Bartrand called out to set up camp. Hawke and Varric however, had other ideas.

Weapons in hand, Carver, Hawke, Merrill, and Varric made their way deeper into the Roads, searching for a way to lead the expedition forward, ready at any instant for the threat of Darkspawn. Veins of pure lyrium filled the expanse or rock with a glowing blue light, illuminating the caverns. Hearing the distant clink of weapons and armor they advanced forward carefully

Pausing as they reach a bend in the cave, Hawke listened intently for any further signs of Darkspawn. Confirming their presence he motioned for them to come forward slowly. He pointed toward a group of Darkspawn idling towards them. Merrill, who hadn't encountered Darkspawn since Mahariel had left, was again slightly intimidated by the fearsome appearance of the creatures. With the Hawke brothers and Varric by her side however, she was not afraid.

Hawke nodded at Varric, who understanding readied Bianca appropriately. Taking aim he launched a flurry of arrows upon the currently unaware Darkspawn. Roars of alert echoed through the walls of the cave as Darkspawn attempted to take cover from the hail of arrows. Shouting out orders Hawke and the others join the fray. Hawke and Merrill further wore at the numbers of the enemy, their alternating attacks of fire and lighting sending Darkspawn screaming as they were burned alive. Carver moved in having a clear opening, and charged into enemy lines, easily dismembering multiple Darkspawn with broad sweeps of his blade. Merrill noticed the Hawke brothers slay the Darkspawn with particular animosity, likely remembering their sister in the fight. They all worked together in sync effectively eliminating the remaining Darkspawn. They had won, for the moment.

Putting away their weapons the party continued forward, eventually greeted by the site of a ogre, frozen solid, surrounded by the corpses of dozens of Darkspawn.

"Well I'll be damned to the void, I think that's Bodahn's boy!" Varric exclaimed.

Chuckling as he examined the corpses, he looked towards Sandal, "Cool trick, but how in Adraste's name did you do that," Hawke asked, eyeing the Ogre, which still managed to look threatening in its frozen state.

Sandal reached into his pocket taking out a rune and emphasizing, "Boom!"

Hawke and Varric both shared a chuckle as Sandal made his way back to the expedition's camp, and Merrill herself couldn't suppress a small giggle at the dwarf's antics.

* * *

><p>The party had been walking for several hours, fighting the seemingly never ending waves of Darkspawn as they pushed their way through the Deep Roads. The combat had started to wear down on them, and they were eager to finally It seemed things were finally coming to a head when they found a promising looking passage. What no one was expecting was the shriek of a large dragon as it swept down upon them gnashing its teeth together viciously.<p>

"Really?" Hawke groaned, "Since when do dragons fly underground," He sighed drawing his staff. Merrill grinned as he unintentionally made light from the situation, despite being faced by one of the most dangerous creatures in Thedas. The creature released a roaring ball of fire towards them, and Merrill responded instinctively, willing a column of earth to rise in between them, effectively shielding them from the blaze.

"Nice save there," Hawke said in thanks, but he nodded toward the dragon, emphasizing the need to focus at the threat at hand. Merrill nodded in acknowledgement, steeling herself for battle once more.

Carver closed in on the dragon distracting it, allowing the rest of them to maximize their damage. As if realizing their tactics the beast suddenly leapt towards Merrill's position, throwing its tail at her viscously. Not having enough time to react it impacted the side of her chest hard, knocking the wind out of her as she was sent sprawling across the chamber. She impacted the floor hard, and heard Hawke shouting out her name as she slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

><p>Merrill groaned as she tried to clear the cobwebs in her mind, her ribs burning painfully. She heard voices as she attempted to open her eyes, and was greeted by the sight of Hawke over her, his hands emitting a healing aura. As she tried to rise, he gently pushed her back down gesturing for her to relax. Seeing the questioning look in his eyes, he nodded toward the dragons now still form, riddled with arrows, gashes, and scorch marks. Finally gathering strength to speak she asked, "What happened?" her ribs protesting as she did.<p>

"The dragon knocked you out pretty good, things ended badly for it from there." Hawke explained. "Varric and Carver are heading back to get Bartrand and the others." Examining his work he said, "I healed your ribs but there's going to be nasty bruising there for a couple of days." His eyes met her emerald ones, obviously filled with relief. "I'm glad you're okay," He said, as he gave her a hand to help her up.

Merrill felt something stir within her as he took her hand in his, pulling her up. "Thank you," She final managed, thankful that most the blush that had crept its way into her features was concealed by the poor lighting. Hawke smiled, shrugging as it were nothing.

He looked as if he were about to say something when suddenly a loud voice cut in, "When your done flirting with the elf, I'd like to get this expedition rolling again," Bartrand interrupted, with undisguised irritation laced into his words. He brushed passed them, Hawke made a mock serious face, mouthing the impatient dwarf's words.

"Spot on Hawke," Varric said chuckling, as Merrill giggled at Hawke's impression. Hawke grinned, before motioning then to continue pressing forward.

* * *

><p>Merrill couldn't believe how things had somehow come to this. One moment they had been examining the ruins of a long lost thaig, the next they were recovering a lyrium idol that was sure to be worth a fortune. Things seemed to go down hill from there. Hawke had given the idol to Bartrand and then sealed them into a room with no idea how to get out. They fought through shades and other strange creatures before finally arriving in a eerily quiet cavern. All four of them were on edge, hands tightly gripped around their weapons, poised to fight at a moments notice.<p>

A disembodied voice suddenly spoke, "_You shall go no further!"_ The creature took form resembling some of the other rock- like creatures they had fought earlier. The creature continued, "_Why do you destroy the vessels that quell my hunger?" _

"They really didn't seem to friendly," Hawke quipped in response.

"_The vessels attack by my command, and should you agree to my conditions, I will allow you a way out." _

"I don't do the dirty work of demons," Hawke said nodding at Varric. Not waiting a moment, Varric aimed and fired a direct hit, killing it in a single shot before the demon could even retaliate. Merrill wasn't sure if she liked Hawke's decision, but knowing Hawke, he must have had some sort of plan.

"If we find, what the demon wanted," Hawke said, pointing down the passage in front of them, "we can probably also find a way out of here."

"Sound reasoning," Varric agreed, "Lets just hope you didn't kill our ticket out of here." Hawke responded with a grim nod and continued forward. They continued forward for some time when Hawke noticed a promising looking passage.

Finally they made their way into a strange room, pillars supporting the high ceiling of the cavern. An eerie quiet dominated the area. "Look! I think we may have found our way out of here!" Hawke said, approaching the entrance. Merrill suddenly heard the sound of stones being disturbed, and could have sworn to have seen movement in her peripheral vision. Nothing came of it thought, so she dismissed it as nothing. Then as if to spite her, rocks suddenly begin to shift and move, beginning to take a form of a large monster. Retreating back to his friends Hawke said sighing "Can't seem to catch a break these days it seems."

They began there attack on the creature, and were surprised for a moment when it didn't seem to have any sort of response. Suddenly, it began glowing emitting a red light and a humming noise that became louder with each passing second.

Realizing what was happening Hawke yelled, "Get behind something!" Getting to safety, he noticed that Carver and Varric were going to be caught in the blast. Reacting quickly, he telekinetically pulled them behind cover. A deafening noise followed by the room being swathed by deadly red energy was the result of the wraith's destructive powers. The energy relented seconds later, and the wraith momentarily fell into a heap, needing to recover after expending so much raw energy. Taking the opportunity, all four of them began relentlessly assaulting the creature with their most powerful spells and attacks.

Reforming into a large sphere, the wraith then attempted to crush anyone unfortunate enough to get caught in its path. Merrill narrowly dodged the attack, and turned to see the wraith heading straight for Hawke.

"Hawke!" Merrill shouted, fearful for her friend's life. Just as the wraith seemed moments away from impact, Hawke, using tremendous amounts of force magic, shoved the monster into a pillar, the resulting impact shaking the foundations of the room. Resuming it's humanoid form the wraith released the equivalent of what someone might call a shriek of rage. Not hesitating for a moment Hawke leapt onto the creature's chest, causing it to stagger backwards. Bringing his staff above his head, he plunged his staff into its chest, emitting an inferno inside the wraith. Scorched from the inside out, the wraith collapsed into a heap of smoldering stone.

"Show off," Varric muttered.

"Hey, I don't see you slaying a creature of legend that could have easily killed us all," Hawke said in mock offense to Varric's insult.

"We'll call it even, given the countless times Bianca and I have saved your sorry ass," Varric said good naturedly, stroking his prized crossbow.

"Nope, I found a way out, and _this._ I do believe you have been trumped good serrah!" Hawke said, waving for him to come over at some apparent marvelous discover.

"Yeah right, unless it's a – holy shit!" Varric said, eyeing enough loot to easily get the Hawke family into Hightown and then some. Grinning he said, "Well boys and girls lets load up and hightail it out of here."

* * *

><p>It had been several days since they had recovered the treasure. Several days of surviving off Deep Mushrooms, several days of running into, and fending random bands of Darkspawn, several days that might as well been hell. Merrill was also starting to see why the others liked to wear shoes. To make matters worse, things weren't exactly looking up.<p>

Stumbling weakly Carver groaned, "Can we… stop for a moment. I'm not… feeling so great," He continued weakly.

"I agree, that last batch of mushrooms was particularly foul," Hawke replied.

"No…" His memory flashed back to Wesley a year earlier. "Its… the taint." He said grimly, in realization. He began to stumble to which Hawke responded by rushing over and laying him down slowly.

"No!" Hawke shouted in angst, "I'm not failing mother, not again!" In vain, he began to utter healing incantations. Carver batted his hands away.

"You need to save your strength brother, I'm not… going to make it," Carver said weakly.

"Their must be something-"

"Brother!" Carver cut in. His eyes softened, "Please, don't let me suffer…"

Hawke's shoulders sagged in defeat. "You always asked for too much, brother…" Hawke managed his voice tight.

"And yet, you still gave it brother," Carver said, his breathing becoming labored. He reached for the dagger on his belt, and placed it in Hawke's hand. He smiled weakly, "Goodbye brother…"

Hawke plunged the blade into his brother's chest, looking away. Merrill looked on, tears in her eyes, wanting to console him, but knowing no words would bring comfort now. Hawke stood, his head bowed. In a fit of anguish, he cried out, "You bastards! I'll kill you all, you took away everything from me, from us," flames surrounding him from pure rage coursing through his veins.

Hesitantly, Merrill walked up to Hawke, and placed a hand on his shoulder. Hawke looked at her, his eyes shining with tears that he refused to let fall. Eventually the flames receded, and his breathing returned to normal. He continued the forward, and Varric and Merrill followed silently.

**Please R/R Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Just got back from a week long canoe trip up in Minnesota, with all my big trips of the Summer out of the way I should be able to update more frequently, and hopefully the next chapter will be up within a week. Anyway this chapter is shorter than my last two, but is more focused. Enjoy!**

As he stepped back into the familiar streets of Kirkwall, Hawke felt nothing. Not even the slightest sense of accomplishment washed over him as they paused for a moment in the Hightown marketplace. Attempting to lighten the mood Varric said, "Dreary old Kirkwall, good to be back right Hawke, a fortune with you to boot,"

"Not exactly the first thing on my mind," Hawke said grimly.

His smile fading Varric nodded, "Yeah I know…" Sighing he said, "You can get out of the slums now Hawke, it wasn't all for nothing,"

'_It might as well have been' _Hawke thought as he made his way to Lowtown.

Hawke stood outside his home, a sense of dread bearing over him. He had promised her that he would bring his brother back alive. He didn't even have his body for his mother to pay her respects. Would she blame him? Would she lash out at him like she had that fateful day in Lothering? Her accusation was born of the anguish of the moment, yet her words had cut him deeper than any blade. _Why didn't you do something? _The guilt weighed heavily now, doubled, and his mask of humor and exuberance that he hid behind had fallen, unable to be supported anymore.

Deciding to delay no further, Hawke made his way up the stairs to Gamlen's home. Stopping at the door, he glances at his pouch now laden with sovereigns from the expedition. Resisting the urge to suddenly throw it all away, he inhales deeply and walks inside.

Spotting his Hawke Gamlen calls out, "Hey Leandra, your oldest runt is here!" He had a glare as he looked at his normally cheerful nephew. His expression changed as he noticed that there was not even a trace of humor in his face.

Leandra suddenly rushed in from the guest room and embraced Hawke into a tight hug. Hawke reciprocated, wrapping his arms around his mother. Surprised that her eldest son had not yet released a witty remark yet she looked at him, his eyes hiding nothing. Sensing something was wrong she asked, "Dear, what's wrong? Where is Carver?" her worry increasing with every passing moment.

Hawke's face fell at the mention of his brother's name. "He's…. He's gone, mother. He got infected by the taint… I… made his passing easier," Hawke explained recalling the memory with a pained expression. "I felt so damn useless, for all my healing magic, it couldn't do a damn thing, I could only watch as he suffered, I couldn't- It should have been me!" Hawke said in a fit of anguish.

"Oh darling…" Leandra said placing a hand on her son's face. She lifted his face, forcing his eyes to meet hers. Her gaze transmitted everything that he needed to know. _It wasn't your fault._ With that she pulled him against her, allowing him to release the burden he had on his shoulders for the past several days. Silently she began to weep, held in her son's strong arms as it hit her that she had lost her little boy. Gamlen rubbed his neck awkwardly, and feeling out of place, decided exiting the hovel to give them time to comfort each other as they mourned the loss of Carver.

Hearing the familiar padding of bare feet Isabela turned around to be greeted by the site of her favorite Dalish elf. "Why hello there Kitten! How was the Deep roads expedition? Slay some Darkspawn? Find some treasure? Spend some alone time with Hawke?" Isabela said, grinning devilishly on her last comment.

Merrill paused for a moment, then managed to say. "No not really, it was horrible!"

Raising an eyebrow, Isabela questioned, "Really? What happened?"

Merrill informed Isabela of the catastrophic mishaps that occurred during the expedition and concluded with the tragedy of Carver's death as they fought to escape the deep roads.

Saying nothing for a few moments, Isabela finally replied saying, "Well, his regular at the Blooming Rose will be very disappointed, given all the coin he's showered on her," Appearing completely unaffected.

Merrill looked at her with a blank stare a moment. When she recovered from the glibness of Isabela's comment, she responded with a hint of anger rarely seen from her, disbelief written in her expression as she nearly shouted, "Isabela! Hawke's brother is dead and all you can respond with is a bad joke?"

Isabela lowered her eyes for a moment appearing slightly ashamed. "… I'm sorry Kitten," she said with a hint of remorse. Meeting her eyes, she went on, "I'm not really good with things of the emotional sort. Dismissing things as if they were nothing is just… easier for me," she explained. Quickly changing the subject she continued with a sly grin, "Although I'm sure Hawke could use some 'comforting' right now. Maybe you should pay him a visit," Her eyes harboring undisguised glee.

Merrill however, was oblivious as always to Isabela's underlying innuendo. "Well, I suppose he could use someone to be there for him, he probably feels awful right now," Merrill said remembering the look in her friend's eye. The characteristic spark in his eyes was gone, not even so much as a dying ember remaining. '_They almost looked dead'_ Merrill thought with a shudder, recalling Hawke's somber expression.

Knowing her statement had gone right over Merrill's head Isabela put a palm to her forehead sighing as she said, "Yes, I'm sure he could Kitten."

Deciding to go with Isabella's suggestion

Darkness had since descended upon Kirkwall, and Merrill stood before the Lowtown lodging that Hawke currently still lived at. She took a moment to admire the sky and the moon, a thin crescent in the veil amongst the veil of stars. Dismissing the slight nervousness that had accompanied her on the way there, Merrill climbed the steps and was about to knock on the door when a familiar voice interrupted her.

"Hello? Someone there?" Moving noises could be heard from the top of the building, and Hawke looked down from the roof to see Merrill. "Oh hey Merrill, I wasn't expecting you to be here. Fancy joining me as I stare into the heavens and ponder aimlessly," Hawke offered.

Merrill was glad to here that at least some of his humor had returned and responded, "Yes, I think I would like that." Noticing that she was searching for a way to get onto the roof Hawke said, "Here let me help you," Looking around and seeing no templars, Hawke manipulated the gravity around Merrill, setting her next to him gently. Returning his gaze to the sky he said, "Best view in Lowtown, if I do say so myself."

Merrill nodded, and then decided to get straight to the point. "Hawke… are you okay?"

Taking in a deep breath Hawke replied, "No…" his eyes lowering. Then he looked up and smiled at her, "But I'm getting there, so thanks for asking," He went on meeting her eyes.

Merrill smiled back and said, "Anytime _lethallin_."

And with that they enjoyed each others company finding comfort in the nighttime silence.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N A bit later than I hoped but here it is. We're into Act II now folks! I hope you guys enjoy!**

Merrill walked into the Hanged Man, taking note of its usual customers. Despite the many changes that had happened in the past three years, the infamous bar had remained Hawke and the others meeting place. It was here where they began their numerous misadventures, more than one of them being possible 'leads' that Isabela had found regarding her search for the relic. Merrill smiled, recalling the latest mishap.

_After clearing the area of enemies, Merrill allowed herself to relax as Isabela began to search the area. Hawke and Varric began to scope out the area as well as Merrill looked on. _

_ Suddenly Hawke shouted loud enough for everyone to hear that he had found a promising looking chest. Isabela hurried over, examining the chest. Hawke, crouched by the chest, was examining a padlock that kept the loot secure. Looking at Isabela he said," Think you can open it?" _

_ Laughing, Isabela said, "Please Hawke, don't insult me," motioning for Hawke to step aside. Within moments, she had deftly picked the lock and had thrown the hefty lock aside. Looking at Hawke she said, "Well since you found it I'll let you have the honors," motioning for Hawke to open the chest. _

_ Merrill felt anticipation build as Hawke approached the chest. Pausing dramatically, he knelt down, placing his hands on the lid. Opening it suddenly, he shouted out as a giant spider that had been there for Maker knows how long, leapt out of the chest and latched onto Hawke's face. "Varric get this damn thing off me!" Staying still enough to give him a clear shot, Merrill watched as Varric took careful aim. Firing a well placed bolt, the creature was removed and subsequently killed. _

_ After recovering for a few moments Hawke managed, "Damn my face hurts," removing his hand from his face for a moment, and Merrill and Isabela let out a small gasps. There was clearly bite marks and the area around them was beginning to swell. _

_ "I don't see what the big deal is," Varric said. "Hell, might even be an improvement." _

_ Returning to Kirkwall quickly, they promptly acquired healing herbs and sent Hawke back to his new Hightown mansion. As they were exiting, Isabela noticed Merrill's expression and said, "Don't worry kitten I'm sure it'll be fine in a couple of weeks," With a cheeky grin she added, "Then again, I'm sure he wouldn't turn you away if you offered to kiss it better." _

_ Merrill reddened, saying, "Don't be silly Isabella, Hawke wouldn't want me of all people doing that." _

_ "Really? Why not?" Isabella asked with a curious expression. _

_ "Well, he's human, and I'm an elf…" Merrill started. _

_ "I wouldn't count yourself out just yet kitten. The man can keep an eye level conversation with me for Maker's sake! And yet, I've seen him giving you sideways glances every now and again when you walk off. Then again he could be admiring this," Isabella said as she lightly slapped Merrill's bum. _

_ "Isabela!" Merrill squeaked in surprise. Sighing she said, "It doesn't matter, it wouldn't work out…" _

_ "You sound very disappointed kitten," As if struck by an epiphany, her eyes widened as realization dawned upon her. A devilish grin appeared on her face as she said, "You fancy Hawke!" _

_ Realizing that she had been found out and that denying it would be pointless, Merrill remained silent. _

_ "So…" Isabela asked, "When are you going to sleep with him?" _

_ "WHAT!" Merrill shrieked, becoming more embarrassed by the second. _

_ "You know rut wildly like a pair of mabari in the heat?" Isabella said as if it were the most mundane thing in the world. _

"_I never said anything about-"Merrill began to protest. _

"_But you've thought of it," Isabella said knowingly. Wrapping her arm around the embarrassed elf she continued, "One of these days your going to go to him and give him the night of his life," _

"_But-" _

_Pressing a finger to Merrill's lips Isabella silenced her, saying, "Nope, no backing out now kitten. Later, we are going to have some lady talk." _

Blushing at the mere memory Merrill continued forward to Varric's suite, where Varric and a masked person wearing crimson robes. The masked man looked in her direction and a familiar voice greeted her. Following Hawke's meteoric rise in society, it had become increasingly difficult for him to maintain anonymity. The refugee turned nobleman was recognized nearly everywhere. For anyone else this would be fine. But more public scrutiny for an apostate might as well be a death sentence. This led Hawke to take up his father's robes and mask to continue adventuring as he had in the past.

Isabela joined the group, giving Merrill a sly wink while subtly nodding towards Hawke. Merrill averted her eyes, instead paying attention to Hawke.

"Do any of you remember Feynriel the elven apostate we helped years ago?"

"The one we sent to practice magic amongst the Dalish?" Merrill asked, remembering.

"That's right. His mother sent me a letter recently, said he's been having nightmares lately, and now he's been sleeping for several days. They suspect the demons are the cause."

"Marethari," Merrill winced slightly at the name, "the keeper has a plan and asks that we meet them both at Feynriel's original home back in the alienage. From what I've gathered, we'll be entering the Fade." Hawke took a moment to judge his friends reactions. "Everyone in?"

"I must admit, I'm more than a little curious," Varric said, nodding that he would go.

"Fighting demons in dreamland? Count me in." Isabella agreed.

"I would like to go as well," Merrill answered.

"Its settled then," Hawke said, rising. "Off to the Alienage."

* * *

><p>They arrived in Arianni's small Alienage home soon after. The said elf was currently discussing something with Marethari, when they both noticed the group's presence. Hawke removed his mask so the two would recognize him.<p>

"I knew they would come," Arianni said, her voice filling with hope that had obviously been absent recently.

Marethari stepped forward and greeting them as well. "It is good to see you again _da'len." _Looking towards Hawke she continued. "And you as well."

Merrill could have sworn she heard an undertone in her former keeper's greeting, yet the woman's features betrayed nothing. Taking Hawke aside Marethari spoke to him in private, most likely about what they were about to do. From Hawke's facial expression, he had first not liked what the Keeper had told him, but appeared to consent. Reentering the group, Marethari looked among Hawke's companions.

"This is who you are bringing with you I presume?" She asked. Seeing Hawke's nod, she continued, "Then let us begin."

* * *

><p>Merrill opened her eyes to see they had successfully entered the Fade. Isabella and Varric looked around curiously, for they had never been self aware when they came here. Hawke and Merrill being mages however were somewhat familiar with the Fade.<p>

"Let's go, the sooner we end this the better," Hawke said, beginning to move forward. Following him, Merrill examined the temple like area that served as a representation of Feynriel's mind. As they neared the center of the room, a strange voice greeted them.

A demon materialized out of the ground, examining them. Though it's words held no malice, even those not gifted with magic could feel the evil emanating from the creature. Trying and failing to convince Hawke to hand over Feynriel in exchange for power the demon attacked. However it stood no chance against two mages, an expert marksman, and a seasoned pirate. Noticing two pathways, Merrill informed Hawke, "We probably need to confront more demons in these halls."

Choosing one, they continued forward, when suddenly a flash of light blinded them momentarily. When Merrill's vision cleared, it appeared that they were in a dream that Feynriel was having. Stranger yet, where Hawke was previously standing stood Arianni, Feynriel's mother. A younger version of Feynriel was speaking to his father. Arianni walked toward him, and managed to convince Feynriel that this was a ruse, and that he was being tricked by demons. Feynriel fled ending the dream.

A desire demon replaced Feynriel's father, and Hawke replaced Arianni.

"You!" The desire demon said, pointing an accusatory finger at Hawke. "You ruined my plans!"

"Just trying to help, honest," Hawke said sarcastically, remaining glib despite the situation.

The desire eyed the rest of them hungrily. Smiling wickedly the demon said, "Perhaps I can take one of your friends instead!" Floating towards Isabella the demon spoke, "I could give you anything," Reading into Isabela's desire's the demon continued, "The best crew in Thedas," Seeing its words and influence were beginning to affect the pirate the demon continued. "The largest and finest ship, ready and in dock in the Kirkwall harbor," Advancing toward Isabella sultrily it spoke, "I'll be waiting in the captains quarters!"

"Well other than the fact that this is a demon lying to manipulate you that sounds great." Hawke quipped.

Unfortunately though, the demons words already had a firm grip on Isabella. Turning towards them Isabella said, "I like big boats, I cannot lie." Pulling out her daggers she charged towards them. Hawke, reacting quickly, summoned an ice blast, immobilizing her. Varric, readying Bianca, took careful aim and finished the job.

Sighing as he put away his crossbow Varric muttered, "Damn it Rivaini."

"According to the keeper she should just wake up, she'll be fine," Hawke informed. They then headed towards the opposite hallway were there no doubt was another demon awaiting them.

As they opened the door, they became immersed in another of Feynriel's dreams, Hawke this time assuming the form of the First Enchanter. In this case, it appeared that Marethari was attempting to convince Feynriel to take advantage of his newfound powers. Once again convincing Feynriel that he was being manipulated by demons, the dream faded away. In Marethari's place stood a towering pride demon, the most powerful of the demons.

"Fool, you will pay for intervening!" The demon growled. "I will take one of your companions instead; see how loyal they really are!" The creature stepped toward Merrill, and a wave of fear washed over her.

"She did not turn down the offer from my kin, who's to stop her now!" The demon said ominously. "Scion of the Dalish, savior of your people," The demon said now addressing Merrill.

"Could you do that?" Merrill asked, sorely tempted. "_All these years I've wasted my people shunned me. But I could show them, save them and they might for once listen," _Merrill thought. Her thoughts became muddled as the demon exerted its influence. Her vision became hazed, and saw Hawke saying something, but she couldn't hear. She felt her mouth form words that were not her own and from there, darkness.

* * *

><p>Merrill woke up, gasping. Cursing herself for being so foolish, she spotted Isabela next to her. Seeing that she was awake, the pirate asked, "What happened kitten?"<p>

Burying her face into her palms she said, "I was tricked by that Pride demon. Oh creators I am such a fool!" Merrill said in despair.

"It happens to the best of us kitten, it wasn't your fault," Isabela said in an attempt to console her.

"The worst part is part of me knew it was too good to be true," Merrill said dejectedly. Even worse, she was now almost certain that if she had a chance with Hawke before now it was likely gone. Now all she could do was wait and hope that Hawke and Varric would be successful.

* * *

><p>Several minutes later Hawke and Varric woke up, apparently succeeding in liberating Feynriel from the grasp of the demons. Merrill had tried to think of words to explain herself, but found that none of them seemed to be sufficient. She had betrayed one of her closest friend's trust. As Hawke informed Arianni that Feynriel was going to the Tevinter Imperium to master his powers, Merrill quietly slipped out and retreated back to her home.<p>

Closing the door behind her Merrill quickly entered. Taking a seat, she began to contemplate just what she had done. A knock on the door startled her, and she promptly rose to answer it. She opened the door and wasn't surprised to see Hawke, his face full of concern.

"May I come in?" He asked politely, as always.

"Of course," Merrill managed, her voice shaky. Leading inside she turned away from him, taking a deep breath.

"Hawke, I'm so sorry, I wasn't…. I couldn't…" Merrill stammered, obviously on the verge of breaking down.

"Merrill," Hawke said gently, placing a hand on her shoulder. She turned, facing him, and without hesitation, he pulled her into a hug. She reciprocated feeling comforted by his embrace. "I'm just glad your okay," He said softly in her ear. Merrill had never felt so unworthy of such a good friend. The sensation of his arms around her sent warm shivers up her spine as they stood there in silence. Once she had calmed down sufficiently he released her, his amber eyes meeting her emerald ones their faces inches apart. Merrill saw a flash of emotion in his eyes, but it vanished so quickly she almost thought she didn't see it.

He backed away slowly, his eyes not leaving hers.

"Thank you Hawke," Merrill managed.

Hawke shrugged and then gave her one of those smiles that made her heart beat just a little bit faster.

Seeming to notice the time that had elapsed Hawke said, "I'd probably better be getting back to Hightown, wouldn't want mother to get too worried," He said, and Merrill was surprised. Hawke seemed almost, awkward. "I'll see you later Merrill," He said with one last look back.

As the door closed Merrill slowly sat down smiling, Perhaps Isabela was right, there might be hope for her yet. .

**Please Review! I enjoy getting feedback from my readers!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Bioware owns Dragon Age and stuff**

Merrill sighed in frustration as she plopped down on her bed, staring at the mirror. Scratched and cracked glass returned her gaze as she cursed the difficulty of the task of repairing it. She had been in her hovel for several days, poring over tomes, scrolls, anything that might be able to help her finally repair the Eluvian, only opening her door for occasional visits from Hawke and Varric, who at this point now seemed worried. Her search was in vain, and all her hard work had amounted to nothing. Despite trying to convince herself that her newfound vigor in her efforts was to finally finish the damned thing, she knew that she was also trying to avoid Isabella at all costs.

Merrill wanted, ever so badly, to know how Hawke felt, but she was afraid. Afraid that Hawke might snicker and cast her aside as a foolish girl that had been fooling herself all these years. Anyone else might have seen that Hawke had dropped subtle hints on his own feelings, but Merrill's self consciousness had blinded her, feeling outmatched by the dozens of beautiful noblewomen pining for him to be their suitor.

Shoving these thoughts aside, Merrill attempted to refocus on the task at hand. There was still one method that she hadn't tried yet. Pulling out her knife, she thought, '_I could always contact the spirit.'_ Deciding that she had reached a dead end and would try anything, she began to chant the incantations necessary to contact the demon on Sundermount. Completing the chant, she steadied the knife, and in a swift motion, brought it down on her arm, completing the spell with a sacrifice of her own blood.

A strange sensation fell upon her as a link between her and the spirit was forged. The cold voice of the spirit greeted her, _"Ah the savior of Arlathan, I trust all is going well in your endeavors?" _

_ "No," _Merrill replied. _"I've tried everything, but I can't seem to find anything!" _

_ "Most unfortunate," _The demon replied, its voice sounding almost irritated.

_"I was hoping you might have a lead of some sort," _Merrill asked, thinking that this might be her only chance.

The demon was silent for a moment but then said, _"As a matter of fact I might have something that might further your success yet," _The demon said as Merrill felt anticipation rise within her. _"Your keeper," _The demon began, saying the title with disdain, _", possesses an ancient ceremonial artifact, the Aruin'holm. Perhaps it will be of use," _The demon finished, and Merrill felt its presence withdraw from her mind.

Cleaning herself up, Merrill stood up and was about to go find Hawke in Hightown when, as if on cue, someone knocked on her door.

As she had expected, Hawke was waiting outside, and while his facial expression was neutral, his eyes held traces of worry.

"Hawke!" Merrill said, greeting him. "I was just about to go and find you," Merrill said, ushering him inside.

"Something wrong?" Hawke said, one of his eyebrows raised.

"No," Merrill clarified, "I just wanted to ask you a favor."

"What might that be?" Hawke said, his expression changing to one of curiosity.

Merrill paused for a moment than said, "Come over here," Merrill said, walking into her small 'room.' "There's something I want to show you." Leading him in she gestured over to the ancient mirror in the corner.

Looking at it curiously, Hawke asked, "What is it?"

"It's an _Eluvian_, a mirror in our language," Merrill explained. "They say back in the days of Arlathan, that my people would use these to communicate. Repairing it could teach us so much about our people, all that we've lost." Looking at it she said, "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"Pardon me," Hawke said, "but I do believe the dusty old mirror pales in comparison to its owner."

Merrill blushed, but then dismissed the comment as Hawke being nice. Continuing she said, "I had reached a dead end of sorts, but then something came up. The keeper has a ceremonial knife, the _Aruin'holm_, which might be able to finish the job." Pausing for a moment she said, "I… I need your help to get it."

"Are you afraid of facing Marethari alone?" Hawke asked.

Merrill's eyes lowered. "I saw her looking at me the other day when I came out of the fade. She looked so disappointed in me, and I just know when we get there she is going to give me her most condescending stare that just makes me lose my nerve."

Nodding in understanding Hawke replied, "It's alright, I'll have your back."

"Thank you _lethallin,_" Merrill said smiling.

* * *

><p>Arriving at the Hanged Man, Hawke was prepared to bring Varric and Fenris. While Merrill had questioned the bringing of the strongly anti- mage ex- slave, Hawke reasoned that with his unusual abilities and penchant for swordplay, Fenris could come in handy should things start going south. Varric, as always, was happy to join another one of Hawke's potential mishaps in the making. Fenris on the other hand agreed albeit extremely begrudgingly, claiming that he was tired of sitting around in his luxurious Hightown mansion.<p>

They were about to depart from the bar when suddenly Isabella stopped them. "Hey Varric, mind if we swap? Figure I owe Hawke a favor after taking one for the team during that venture."

"Damn right," Hawke muttered rubbing his face at the spot where he had been bitten subconsciously.

Varric eyed Isabela warily, not quite buying it. She winked at him, and as if an unspoken message had been communicated, he nodded in understanding and stepped aside without argument.

"Oh and before we go," Isabella said suddenly grabbing one of Merrill's arms as she began to drag her away to a more private setting. "I need to borrow Kitten for a moment, we haven't talked in days," Isabela continued, giving Merrill a glare. Leading Merrill into her room, Isabela shut the door behind them.

"Been avoiding me huh, kitten," Isabela said smirking. "You know," Isabela said, suddenly becoming very interested in her nails, "if you don't make your move on Hawke, someone else will. I mean, the noblewomen are practically on there knees for him to be their suitor," She went on, and Merrill's eyes lowered. "But, by your obvious lack of trying, you don't seem to care," Isabela said nonchalantly.

"That's not true!" Merrill said, almost shouting.

"Oh really?" Isabella replied, "Could have fooled me."

"It's just… I get so nervous… I'm afraid that when I try to tell him that I'll be reduced to a babbling idiot, and look like a complete fool," Merrill said, her eyes lowering.

"Trust me, he won't say know if you offer to take him to bed," Isabela said.

"I know," Merrill said, "But I want more than that Isabela, I-"

"Am smitten with the man," Isabella finished. "Yes, I know, and when this is over and done with today I am going to help you bed the most handsome thing that this drab city has ever seen." Finally leading Merrill out she said, "Come on, the other's are probably wondering what we've been doing for the past several minutes," Isabela said suggestively.

* * *

><p>Merrill felt waves of nostalgia arise her as the mountains of Sundermount loomed above them, their familiar misty peaks reminding her of her departure from the clan. As they entered the Dalish camp she saw some of her former clan mates recognize her, and then turn away in disgust. Fenris was looking more cross by each passing moment, likely regretting to come and help her.<p>

Merrill felt her throat tighten up as they neared the center of the camp, where Marethari usually was. Steeling herself, she continued forward, as she saw the keeper walk towards them.

"It has been long since you last returned here _da'len_," Marethari said. "What brings you here?"

Merrill looked back at Hawke, who gave an encouraging nod before she spoke. "Keeper, I have been working on the _Eluvian_ over the years of my absence," She noticed that Marethari had frowned for a moment before changing back to her usual neutral expression, "I believe that the _Aruin'holm_ is key in it's repairing, and ask that you give it to me," Merrill finished, now holding her breath subconsciously as she waited for the keeper to respond.

Marethari appeared to consider for a moment and then said, "I have warned you that the _Eluvian_ is dangerous," raising her hand to silence her protest, she continued, "but you are no longer a child anymore, so I ask that you do one thing for me, and it will be yours. The varterral has been acting strange lately and we sent several hunters to investigate. They haven't come back for days, so I assume that they have been killed. Slay the creature, and bring back tokens from the hunters so that I may bring them to their families."

"We'll do it," Merrill said, surprised that the keeper had relented.

Nodding in acknowledgement, Marethari said, "The varterral has taken refuge in the cave along that path," She said, gesturing behind her. "May the dread wolf not catch your scent."

* * *

><p>They had made their way to the cave cutting their way through the place's unfriendly inhabitants, finding the corpses of hunters along the way. It seemed that there wasn't a single living elf in the entire cave when suddenly Merrill heard a rushing person coming toward them.<p>

A voice called out, "Is someone there," A figure stepped out of a passage leading from the heart of the cave. Seeing the group he said, "Oh thank the ma- I mean the creators," coming further into view. Merrill didn't recognize him at first, but then remembered him as Pol, who used to be one of her friends before she left the clan.

"Pol?" Merrill said, "Is that you?" She asked.

A look of fear descended the elf's features as he cried out, "Merrill! No, no stay away from me. I know what you are what you've done!" He proceeded to flee back deeper into the cave.

"Pol, no!" Merrill shouted in desperation, but her words seemed lost on her former friend. Rushing along with the other's behind him they continued onward to a cavernous area where they spotted Pol being cornered by an enormous creature, the varterral. The creature stepped closer and Pol barely had enough time to scream before the monster brought one of its spider-like limbs down harshly upon his body with a sickening snap.

Merrill resisted the urge to vomit at the sight, but righted herself as she noticed the creature was now lumbering towards them. Fenris had already prepared himself, his lyrium tattoos glowing brightly. Bringing down his sword one of the creatures legs, he sliced through the appendage, nearly taking it off. As the varterral roared in pain, collapsing, and Isabela moved in taking advantage of the momentary distraction to unleash a flurry of fast, precise strikes at its body.

Merrill, calling upon the power of the earth, promptly encased the weakened creature's legs, immobilizing it. Hawke moved in channeling a massive inferno from his staff. The creature screamed, and in a latch ditch effort, managed to break free of one its stone bonds, lashing out at Hawke and sending him sprawling. After a few moments it appeared that he was alright, but Merrill couldn't help the anguish building in her, this creature had likely killed Pol, along with several others of the clan. Focusing on channeling her mana she suddenly brought her staff down, causing tremors to rock the cavern when suddenly a stalagmite rose from under the varterral impaling it. The creature struggled violently for a moment and then fell dead.

Rushing over to Pol's still body, Merrill called out," Hawke come over hear, Pol needs healing," she said in desperation. Hawke walked over kneeling by Pol's side. Placing his hands near him, he began to emit a blue healing aura. Stopping after a couple of moments he lowered his hands and sighed. "I'm sorry Merrill, there's nothing more I can do… he's dead," Hawke said, defeated.

"Why did he run?" Merrill choked out, tears running down her face.

"Merrill, you did all you could, there was nothing more that we could do." Hawke said in an attempt to console her.

"Yes kitten, Hawke's right, some men just do stupid things for no reason at all," Isabela added.

"I thought of everyone, that he would understand, he wasn't like the others. Yet he just ran from me like I was a monster," Merrill sniffled.

"You are a monster," Fenris snarled, his words like daggers in her heart being twisted.

"You aren't helping," Isabela said, throwing Fenris a glare.

"Good," Fenris said uncaringly.

"That's enough Fenris," Hawke said angrily. "You don't see her kicking at you when you're off brooding about your problems."

Fenris glared at Hawke, but didn't speak any further.

Merrill looked at Hawke grateful for his defense. Gathering herself she stood thinking, "_At least I'll have what I came for, perhaps his death won't be in vain once I save my people."_ Rising from where she stood, "Come," She said, wiping at her eyes, "We should go back before the keeper gets worried." Merrill didn't want to stay in the accursed cave for another moment.

* * *

><p>As they returned back to the camp, the keeper did not look surprised that the group had come back in one piece. She knew that over the years of adventuring had allowed them all to hone their talents becoming masters of their own styles. "It is good that you return unharmed," As Merrill handed the various items acquired from the dead hunters Marethari thanked her saying, "I thank you for doing this <em>da'len<em>, perhaps the loved ones of the dead may find comfort in these items."

Turning to Hawke she said, "I entrust you to an artifact that we have kept for generations. You have proven to be a man of sound mind, and I trust that you will make the right choice," She said looking at Merrill. "The light I had seen in you still shines brightly even through these long years. Be sure to keep it strong, for you may soon have need of it." The keeper said, placing the wrapped _aruin'holm_ in his hands before walking away into her tent.

Merrill looked at Hawke expectantly as he walked toward her, and she couldn't help but feel uneasy at what he might decide.

Her concern was not needed however as Hawke placed the artifact in her hands. "It's yours Merrill, I trust you and your judgment," Hawke said smiling. "Just be careful, that's all I ask."

"Thank you _lethallin,_ I will," Merrill said, unsure how she had gained the faith of this man, when so many other did not. _'Soon,' _she told herself, _'I will tell him how much, how much he means to me, I owe him that at least." _

**A/N I think everyone knows what's coming next, the moment you've been so patiently waiting for! Reviews are much appreciated!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Fair warning to all readers, this chapter does contain a bit of steam, not enough to change the rating though. **

**Disclaimer: Dragon Age and its characters are all property of Bioware**

After retrieving the knife yesterday, Isabela had told Merrill to meet her the next day at the Hanged Man. And now Merrill sat feeling anxious as she sat next to Aveline and Isabela as they talked about the day's events. Today, Aveline had requested Hawke help her gain the affections of one of her guardsmen, Donnic. Despite numerous amounts of amusing mishaps along the way, the venture had concluded with the captain and Donnic as an item.

"So," Isabella said, beginning her usual interrogation pattern in such matters, "did he bend you over your desk and ravage you like animal, man hands?"

Flushing crimson at the pirates comments, Aveline countered quickly, "Shut up whore!"

"Oh come on!" Isabela said snickering, "Even Hawke said next time Donnic and you 'have a chat', that you should probably keep it down, lest your guardsmen catch wind of your… antics."

"Bastard," Aveline said.

"Funny," Isabela said," Without that bastard, you would have never bagged that man in hundred years."

Scowling, Aveline said, "Admittedly, he does seem to have more experience in matters of a more amorous nature than I do." Thinking for a moment she said," I'm surprised that he hasn't taken up one of those women that are practically slobbering at his feet." At this statement, Merrill felt heat rise to her cheeks.

"Speaking of that," Isabela said, a devious glint in her eyes forming, "Kitten here is one of them."

Raising her eyebrows Aveline said, "Really, you fancy Hawke?" Merrill nodded, embarrassment dominating her features. Chuckling she said, "Can't say I'm too surprised, squint a little and it's fairly obvious."

Panic coursing through her, Merrill said, "Am I that transparent?"

Brushing Aveline's statement aside, Isabela said, "Don't worry kitten, men are extremely thickheaded about these kinds of things, even if they are experienced." "Now to the matter at hand," Isabela announced dramatically, waves of dread washing over Merrill as she spoke. "Now Kitten, learn a lesson from man-hands here," Isabela said, earning a glare from Aveline. "Don't just dance around it, get straight to the point." "As for your concerns yesterday about babbling, I wouldn't worry about it, I would wager that Hawke likes it," Isabela said mischievously. "Oh and in case things get, steamy shall we say, I got something for you," Isabella said, sliding a package towards Merrill.

Merrill brought the package to her and peeked inside to find… lingerie. Blushing more than she thought was possible Merrill quickly closed the package to find Isabela grinning devilishly.

"Put it on before you go to his place tonight, trust me on this one, he'll enjoy it," Isabela, seemingly reveling in making Merrill squirm. "Oh and don't worry about anyone being there, I've made sure that dear old mum is out on some party and that Bodahn and Sandal are off on errands."

"You've put a frightening amount of effort into this Isabela," Aveline noted.

"You know me man hands," Isabela said smirking, "I don't do things half way." Looking back at Merrill she said, "Come on kitten, lets see if my present fits you."

Aveline shook her head as she took a sip from her ail, watching Isabela drag the poor elf out of the bar.

* * *

><p>Merrill attempted to examine her figure as she looked at the no less scratched <em>Eluvian.<em> Sighing in defeat, she walked out of her 'room' where Isabela was waiting for her.

As she stepped out Isabela said, "Mmm kitten, you look good enough to eat," as she shamelessly examined Merrill's figure while circling around her, all while Merrill stood still, blushing furiously. "Perfect just like I thought, Hawke's in for quite a surprise, when you get there." Satisfied with her work she said, "Alright now go get 'em kitten," leading Merrill out the door.

* * *

><p>Merrill looked at Hawke's mansion looming before her, it's normally inviting stone architecture now seeming to be quite the opposite. Taking a deep, she advanced forward to the door. Deciding to act before she lost her nerve, she knocked on the door several times. Hawke's dog began to bark, signaling a visitor, and Merrill heard Hawke's muffled voice as he attempted to quiet his pet.<p>

Finally opening the door, Hawke appeared dressed in his scarlet house robes, with a look of surprise on his face. "Merrill good to see you," Looking outdoors he said, "A bit late might I say, is something wrong?" concern now etched onto his features.

"No, no, everything's fine," Merrill responded waving her hands frantically in an attempt to dispel his concern. "I just wanted to… talk for a while," she said awkwardly, avoiding his eyes.

"Of course," Hawke said, smiling warmly as he ushered her inside.

Merrill entered, rubbing the back of her neck out of nervousness. As she racked her mind with how to begin she said, "I… wanted to thank you for helping me the other day. It means a lot to me that you have faith in me," Merrill said thinking that she was getting a good start. "Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right things… I miss being with the clan in the old days."

"Feeling a little homesick?" Hawke asked. Seeing her nod he went on, "I remember that I used to miss Lothering, back when we were fleeing the Darkspawn. Of course then I was being forced to do mercenary work for the Red Iron for a year so I guess anyone would miss their old home at that point," Hawke chuckled. "Anyways, don't second guess yourself, perhaps one day you'll be able to go back to them," Hawke said, and Merrill noted that his tone had changed slightly at the end, disappointment perhaps.

"Maybe," Merrill murmured, though inside she sincerely doubted it. "I suppose," Merrill began, anxiety filling her, ", if I hadn't had left the clan… I'd have never met you," Merrill finished, heat rising in her cheeks. Hawke didn't say anything for a moment so she went on, "If you were Dalish," she said, imagining, "The best of the days of our people would be just to come." Thinking further she said, "But then we'd have the Qunari, and the Imperium and the rest of world against us, so maybe things turned out for the best."

Chuckling Hawke said, "I doubt that me of all people would be able to unify the Dalish and usher in a golden age."

"Ser Hawke, if you were then keepers in clans everywhere would tell legends about you, and the winds would bring word of your triumph."

"Does it bother you that I'm human Merrill?" Hawke asked, and Merrill cursed her stupidity as she realized that what she had said could certainly be interpreted as just that.

"No!" Merrill said panicking. She thought about Hawke how if they were… together, how ironic it would be. It was almost a betrayal of everything she stood for, as her greatest goal was to restore the former glory of her people. Yet here she was, professing her feelings, to a human no less. Merrill brushed these thoughts aside, this was… he was what she wanted more than anything.

Sighing she said, "It's just that… if we were to," she paused awkwardly for a moment. "If we… I guess they couldn't hate me any more than they do already."

Hawke moved closer to her "It's not like you owe them anything. If anything you deserve to be happy."

Merrill turned around, thinking that this was all too good to be true, that this was all a dream and she would soon wake up. Hawke's hand on her shoulder as he turned her around told her otherwise however.

"Merrill," He said softly, beginning to close the distance between them. "It's all right," He said cupping her face gently.

Emboldened by this display, Merrill rushed to fill the remaining space between them as their lips met. She kissed him passionately, and was surprised when he reciprocated with similar fervor. She allowed his tongue entrance and felt waves of ecstasy roll through her as he deepened the kiss. Without breaking the apart from her, Hawke picked her up and carried her up to his room. Unbeknownst to them, a certain pirate spying from a window nodded in approval and left.

Putting her down gently their lips met again, their kisses now more tender and slow. Pulling away for a moment Hawke looked into Merrill's eyes, a hesitant look in his eyes, unsure if this is what she wanted. Merrill however, had never been more of anything and gently tugged at his hand as she led him to the bed.

Hawke was surprised as he hovered over her seeing a look of almost hunger in Merrill's eyes. Chuckling Hawke willingly obliged as he closed the distance between them. Breaking away for a moment he removed his shirt, and Merrill took the opportunity to drink in the site of his well toned chest. She ran her fingers through the valley of his abdomen, and Hawke groaned at her touch.

Hawke leaned down and carefully removed her scarf before tossing it away behind him. He planted a series of kisses down the pale flesh of her neck, and Merrill inhaled sharply as the sensations took hold.

He moved onto her face then looked into her eyes, his face barely hovering above hers. Merrill could clearly see that his desire mirrored her own and felt powerful, knowing that she had such an effect on him. Within the next several minutes the sounds of newfound lovers could be heard in the mansion, as two became one.

* * *

><p>Merrill lay in bed with Hawke, a sensation of calm that she had never felt before descending upon her. Her nerves were humming as she reveled in the contact with Hawke's warm skin. He had her pulled against him as he gently stroked her arm. She took a deep breath of his scent as what had just happened between them hit her.<p>

A sudden feeling of self doubt prompted her to ask, "Are we… what did this mean?" A part of her wasn't sure that she wanted to hear his answer, a fear of sudden rejection coursing through her.

Hawke looked into her eyes, and her fears were allayed as she basked in his tender gaze. "It means," He said softly, not breaking eye contact, "That from here, we both can decide what happens next together." He placed his hand in hers, running his thumb along the back of her hand.

Merrill knew he was being sincere, and she felt happiness that she had never known course through her. Unable to contain herself she blurted out, "I love you!" Realizing that she might have overstepped her bounds she quickly said, "I probably shouldn't have said that… I often say the stupidest things." She bit her lip, nervously awaiting a response.

"It's not stupid," Hawke said, looking into her eyes once more. "I love you Merrill, in fact I was going to ask you if you might move in with me."

Merrill got up for a moment, needing a moment to digest all of what she had just heard. "Move in… with you, in the fancy part of the city with no rats in it. And you with an elf…"

Hawke just smiled, undeterred by any of this.

"_Ma vhenan_," Merrill said, "You really are crazy aren't you?"'

Rising up to meet her Hawke said, "Only for you."

Merrill returned his smile, knowing despite the statement being delivered in a joking manner, that he meant every word. She looked into his amber eyes knowing that she would never tire at the sight of them, nor their owner. Hawke closed in on her and they shared a tender kiss in the warm glow of the fire.

**Reader feedback much appreciated!**


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